Hello my lovelies! Tomorrow is my 25th birthday and I have to admit that I have been taking it very hard. This is a time when most often we look at our lives thus far and make a tally. We tally up all the things we thought we'd have accomplished by now as opposed to the things we haven't done or have done. I have been dreading my mid twenties the whole time I was in my early twenties, that I never really enjoyed them because I was so busy comparing myself to young female celebrities who were more accomplished at 19 & 20 than I was at their age.
As tomorrow has drawn nearer my identity crises seems to sky rocket. Suddenly I feel as though I am running out of time and it is scary as hell. On one hand I have to go over my list I'd made for myself and ask myself if some of the things weren't a bit unrealistic, like having had the perfect engagement, a perfect (and expensive) dream wedding, being married, having the perfect relationship and having 2 tots in tow, all while being fabulously beautiful, successful, wealthy and absolutely sure of whom I am as well as having the perfect group of friends, oh and I'd have travelled the globe and experienced fantastic things....after all I'm going to be 25, I should have it all figured out by now, right? So maybe that list is a bit extreme, but the thought that I may not be even be close to any of those things is a hugely terrifying and depressing realization. Perfection is hard to attain and it can be boring (I'm told), but sometimes I tell myself that if I become perfect first, then I can work on being different later. Obviously that is a flawed and horrible pressure to put on ones self.
I also have become more resentful towards our society and education systems which teach kids and teens all about being book smart, but nothing about being prepared for what life is really like. Do any of these teens know how to find a safe place to rent? or how to protect themselves from being taken advantage of by their landlord? how about saving for a home, retirement or getting life insurance and investing their money? Do any of them know how to safely build their credit or how to use a credit card without maxing it out. Are these young adults aware of the resources available to them should they run into trouble? Resources like homeless shelters, food banks, financial help? do they know how to properly budget for their monthly bills and lifestyle and have any of them been taught how and when to properly file their taxes?
I know that many people are under the impression that parents should be teaching all this but the reality is that not only do not all people have parents, but also many who do, end up with parents who either don't care enough to teach them or don't even know themselves.
On top of all that we expect these kids to graduate highschool with perfect grades, perfect families and knowing everything about life without having to be taught, as if some magic switch get flipped and they magically just know all they need to know...wrong! AND they are supposed to know exactly what they want to do for the rest of their lives at the age of 17?! that is nuts! And who exactly tells them that the grades they get in junior high will determine the courses they get into in highschool, which will in turn determine weather or not they'll get into to the program or university they apply for, and if they don't get in then their life plan up to that point has gone up in flames...which means that they should really know exactly what they want to do for a career as well as the educational path they'll need to take...all at about the age of 12. Is that really realistic or fair? My vote is Frack no.
How are we supposed to fulfill our personal goals for ourselves and find out who we are as individuals and grow into the people we want to be, if we have to first figure out all the really important stuff all on our own? high school is the time when we are supposed to be learning all the things we'll need to know once we graduate, book smarts aside. And lets face it, not everyone is able to get a college or university education. What are those unfortunate people being taught about a career after highschool??? Nothing. they are left to fend for themselves.
Which all brings me to wonder why we allow this to happen, and why we as a society expect far too much from ourselves at an early age. Of course if we all were ageless and would be youthful forever and live for 5000 years each, maybe we could slow down a bit and just enjoy life. As it is, it seems to me like we will spend our whole lives trying to build a life so that we can enjoy life, but by that time all the best years of your life are over and you still haven't been able to make yourself the best version of you possible.
Yet somehow there are people who end up getting all the breaks, am I resentful or envious? yes. Because even if I had all the breaks there is far too much inequality in the world and I'm sick of watching it happen without being able to do anything to effect real change.
Yes my dearies, my 25th birthday is tomorrow and I am not ready for it. although I can say without a doubt that I will enjoy it. I have been alive this long, it is time to try living. what say you?
xoxo RainSmurf
As tomorrow has drawn nearer my identity crises seems to sky rocket. Suddenly I feel as though I am running out of time and it is scary as hell. On one hand I have to go over my list I'd made for myself and ask myself if some of the things weren't a bit unrealistic, like having had the perfect engagement, a perfect (and expensive) dream wedding, being married, having the perfect relationship and having 2 tots in tow, all while being fabulously beautiful, successful, wealthy and absolutely sure of whom I am as well as having the perfect group of friends, oh and I'd have travelled the globe and experienced fantastic things....after all I'm going to be 25, I should have it all figured out by now, right? So maybe that list is a bit extreme, but the thought that I may not be even be close to any of those things is a hugely terrifying and depressing realization. Perfection is hard to attain and it can be boring (I'm told), but sometimes I tell myself that if I become perfect first, then I can work on being different later. Obviously that is a flawed and horrible pressure to put on ones self.
I also have become more resentful towards our society and education systems which teach kids and teens all about being book smart, but nothing about being prepared for what life is really like. Do any of these teens know how to find a safe place to rent? or how to protect themselves from being taken advantage of by their landlord? how about saving for a home, retirement or getting life insurance and investing their money? Do any of them know how to safely build their credit or how to use a credit card without maxing it out. Are these young adults aware of the resources available to them should they run into trouble? Resources like homeless shelters, food banks, financial help? do they know how to properly budget for their monthly bills and lifestyle and have any of them been taught how and when to properly file their taxes?
I know that many people are under the impression that parents should be teaching all this but the reality is that not only do not all people have parents, but also many who do, end up with parents who either don't care enough to teach them or don't even know themselves.
On top of all that we expect these kids to graduate highschool with perfect grades, perfect families and knowing everything about life without having to be taught, as if some magic switch get flipped and they magically just know all they need to know...wrong! AND they are supposed to know exactly what they want to do for the rest of their lives at the age of 17?! that is nuts! And who exactly tells them that the grades they get in junior high will determine the courses they get into in highschool, which will in turn determine weather or not they'll get into to the program or university they apply for, and if they don't get in then their life plan up to that point has gone up in flames...which means that they should really know exactly what they want to do for a career as well as the educational path they'll need to take...all at about the age of 12. Is that really realistic or fair? My vote is Frack no.
How are we supposed to fulfill our personal goals for ourselves and find out who we are as individuals and grow into the people we want to be, if we have to first figure out all the really important stuff all on our own? high school is the time when we are supposed to be learning all the things we'll need to know once we graduate, book smarts aside. And lets face it, not everyone is able to get a college or university education. What are those unfortunate people being taught about a career after highschool??? Nothing. they are left to fend for themselves.
Which all brings me to wonder why we allow this to happen, and why we as a society expect far too much from ourselves at an early age. Of course if we all were ageless and would be youthful forever and live for 5000 years each, maybe we could slow down a bit and just enjoy life. As it is, it seems to me like we will spend our whole lives trying to build a life so that we can enjoy life, but by that time all the best years of your life are over and you still haven't been able to make yourself the best version of you possible.
Yet somehow there are people who end up getting all the breaks, am I resentful or envious? yes. Because even if I had all the breaks there is far too much inequality in the world and I'm sick of watching it happen without being able to do anything to effect real change.
Yes my dearies, my 25th birthday is tomorrow and I am not ready for it. although I can say without a doubt that I will enjoy it. I have been alive this long, it is time to try living. what say you?
xoxo RainSmurf
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